Bambi, My Best Friend, Not the Deer
by gleek514
Summary: Rachel Caroline Berry and her best friend/partner,Lindsay Lillian Pearce, live in Lima,Ohio. Why is it when Noah Puckerman and Cameron Mitchell move there that Sue gives them harder assignments and now they have to kill giant bugs! Why? It's really gross


_Rachel cursed as she was cornered in a safe house in the middle of the woods at 2am by the worst creature in her situation: a vampire. Her back hit the wall and she was unable to escape her attacker now. She could hear a bloodcurdling snarl erupt from the pit of the predators gut as he gripped her wrist and hurled her to the floor. The pain in her stomach burst and she screamed in pain. She just wished somebody would kill her already or some hero would come in and save her, but of course that never happened because the world hates her apparently._

_Ever since her last partner quit, Rachel's been trying her hardest not to die these days. Quinn wasn't that great of a partner but at least she made the jobs easier. Sure, she complained every five seconds and lied about Rachel stabbing her just to get her kicked off, which she didn't because Sylvester __**loves**__ Rachel, only to walk away from everything. No big deal._

_When she looked at the predators face, surprised would be a complete understament. Blaine Anderson, her best friend/vampire, had his award winning (literally) fangs popping out of his grinning lips and a death grip on Rachel's ankle. She wished he would just kill her already but luck was not on her side because he apparently __**had**__ to painfully drag her across the hardwood floors and throw her into a wall. Bitch._

"_Don't scream Rachie, I'll be back." He ordered in his best sweet-as-apple-pie voice. Her head was suffering from a serious case of whiplash. She didn't understand how one minute he was all scary and now he was __**helping**__. Shit ain't kosher._

_Soon enough, Blaine was back with someone else. A girl that Rachel recognized exceptionally. Santana Lopez. Except, she always thought Santana was only the cold hearted cheerio that secretly liked glee. Not a vampire._

"_Hello princess. What's poppin'?" a sweet feminine voice spoke in front of Rachel. She had to do a double take before finally admitting that the beautiful sound came from Santana and not Blaine or, you now, her imagination. Santana giggled in her new sweet tone and Rachel tried her best not to get up and have her wicked way with the fiery Latina. Not many people knew this but Rachel was bisexual, which actually meant she liked boys and liked having sex with girls. Stayed a virgin while still letting out some sexual frustration. She actually had a freaking business going down at Sacred Heart Academy, the girl portion of Dalton Academy. Which is where she met and almost killed her lovely friend Blaine._

_Before she could respond in a very sexual manner to the fiery Latina, the back of her head swiftly made strong contact with the ground. She looked up to see Santana straddling her waist. If she didn't know any better, she would say the girl on top of her was indeed a vampire, but she wasn't. Four years of training prepared her for that._

_Her neck hurt from the death grip Santana held on it and Rachel felt a little dizzy. She didn't want to bleed and have Blaine freak out. She groaned as Santana shifted her weight and accidentally rubbed her…lady parts… across Rachel's stomach. The Latina couldn't help but smirk and repeat the action which caused the same reaction. She laughed wickedly and stopped when she received a death glare from Blaine, only to give back a 'bitch please' look. She got up and hovered over Rachel in a superior pose._

_Rachel knew this was her chance. She slowly curled her leg in enough that her knees was a centimeter from her face and swiftly sent it flying, slamming Santana into the wall Rachel once occupied. Good times. _

_Then, she fisted her hand and threw it at the fiery Latinas temple, rendering her unconscious…hopefully. She looked behind her and Blaine looked pleased, almost proud._

**Sweet Caroline, good times nev****er seemed so good, I've been inclined to believe it never would…**

Rachel shot up from bed and winced at the pain coming from her neck. Her body was really making her think the dream was real since she felt like she was going to fall apart, which sounds _**really**_ painful. Her hand reached out to grab the buzzing iPhone on her nightstand and answered it without looking at the caller I.D.

"Good morning My Little Hot Jewi-"

"What do you want, Puckerman?" she grumbled. She was both surprised and extremely annoyed with his overly happy attitude at… 5:00 a.m. Screw this.

"Okay I know it's early but what should you do when a vampire climbs through your window?" he cheered in a subtly forced tone.

"Really, Puckerman? You woke me up for a freakin' joke?"

"No."

"So if I go over there, there's going to be a vampire in your room." She asked lamely.

"A smokin' hot one at that." She could _feel _his signature smirk on his face.

"Yes, please seduce her. There might be a slight mix of succubus in there but that's okay." She half-joked.

"Shut your mouth and come here…please" he grumbled.

She rolled her eyes, "fine Puckerman." And hung up.

She jumped out of bed and stripped her clothes so she was clad in underwear and bra. her best friend/"brother", Damian, literally fell out of his chair when she slid down the banister like that. He mumbled something in Irish but she **completely **ignored him and ran to the basement to find her normal clothes. The box she opened had a lot of leather and short sleeves and jeans. Lots of jeans, 'cause it's pretty hard to keep clothes clean when monster are spewing shit at you and leather pants are really uncomfortable.

She changed and went up the stairs only to slam into a well-built body. Damian was staring at her with confusion, concern, and… was that lust? Hmm, let's see how hard we can push his buttons this morning.

"Hey Damian" she smirked. His

eyes were glued to the outfit she was wearing and it sure looked like he loved the view. Their eyes met for a second before his went straight back to the awesome exposure of cleavage. She shoved past him and ran into the kitchen and grabbed an apple before running out the door with a gargled goodbye.

Today seemed like it was going to be a good day.

* * *

**okay,**

**1. I Dont own glee... Sadly, but I will kidnap them one day. Well everyone but Finessa, Tubbers, and Zizes**

**2. I have formed an unhealthy obsession with crossover friendships/ relations of The Glee Project and Glee (so theres always a glimmer of hope)**

**3. I cried when Cameron Left on the glee Project. legit bawled my eyes out. for 2 hours my best friends said. I love him so much! hes my role model :P Review if you did the same or if you loved his song, Love Can Wait.**

**4. chapters for the others will come up soon, EWBD (Extreme Writers Block Disorder)**

**xoxo,**

**Gleek514**


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